Friday, July 6, 2012

Generating Friendhsips | Daniel Spain's Blog

Friendship has become a necessity in society today.? Whether you have a thousand friends or ten friends it makes no difference, we all want a feeling of belonging.? It has been estimated that on average, a person meets about 100,000 people in the course of their lifetime.? But how many of these people are our friends?

Who needs friends?

Friendships don?t just happen overnight. ?We spend a vast amount of time and effort building and developing friendships throughout our lives and there are benefits.? The benefits of building a vast majority of friendships is represented by just a ?friend-count? but has provide several health benefits.? I recently read an article by that highlighted a number of studies that have proven that a foundation of friends has provided an increase in overall happiness, a higher achievement of weight and fitness goals, and that being social results in a boost in your immune system.

Constructing Friendships.

As I mentioned before friendships don?t just happen overnight but is a process that takes time.? Friendship begins with role-limited interaction.? In?Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters, Julia Wood explains this as a person we meet at work, class, or by chance at our favorite restaurant or store.? Basically it is an interaction limited to a specific context or place.? Wood then defines stage two as friendly relations in which both parties determine whether there is or is not a common ground for interest and/or beliefs.? In this stage both parties will initiate small talk to determine whether or not they are compatible for friendships.? If common interest is not met by both parties the friendship will move no further.? Wood describes the third stage as the move towards friendship, meaning we move beyond social roles.? For instance we may invite a classmate to hangout, or a co-worker to go out for a cup of coffee.?? Wood also notes that many friendships never move beyond this point.? If two people continue to interact regularly and are interested in continuing the relationship they may start to think of themselves as friends.? Wood defines this as a nascent friendship.? She concludes that as we interact on a more personal basis we begin to share feelings, values, concerns, and interest.? In doing so we work out patterns of expected interaction or rules however, we may not be aware of this until later.

Best Friends

Best Friends Forever!

Wood identifies the next stage of friendships as a stabilized friendship.? She notes that the idea of continuity is a touchstone for this stage.? Unlike the previous stages, stabilized friends need no active plan and often assume they will continue to interact with each other and remain friends for a lifetime.? Maintain a stabilized friendship requires a high level of trust in both parties and is only achieved a handful of times in a lifetime.? These are our most cherished friends and family, our best friends forever.

Nothing Good about Good-bye.

No one likes to say good-bye but it is a sad admission.? Wood defines the final stage of a friendship as a waning friendship which is when friends drift apart and the friendship ends.? This can be because one friend moves away or because of competing interest in ones career decisions.? If your friend own and oil tycoon and you advocated for clean ?green? energy your friendship may deteriorate.? Wood also notes that some wane because they have run their natural course.? For instance while we maintain relationships with some of our best friends throughout high school many of the relationships we formed are lost upon graduating.

By understanding how friendships are formed one can gain an added appreciation for friendships as a whole.? Knowing that they aren?t formed overnight and we put in a vast amount of time an effort into forming friendships may give us a higher appreciation for the friends we have.? I never really thought about the process in which I have made friends over my lifetime however, looking back I am great-full I was able to meet so many different and wonderful people.? I appreciate all the friends I have met, all the friends I have, and all the friends I have yet to make.

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Source: http://blogs.longwood.edu/spaindh/2012/07/05/generating-friendhsips/

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